Independence

I started a new job at the beginning of November and part of the integration process is a personal profile to determine styles, etc. The results were not surprising. I register off the charts on independence, speaking my mind and confidence. My saving grace is I also have a heart. So the top line summary is that I don’t need others to get my work done, it’s easy for me to speak my mind regardless of what others think, and I have confidence in my work and ability. My ego is not tied to others’ opinions (which is actually really good in a corporate setting; those that work in corporate will understand this statement) and I’m naturally nurturing, a care-giver and kind.

In a previous job, we did something similar but not quite as in-depth.  My results indicated that I was basically a square peg trying to fit in a round hole and lived life to the beat of my own drum. Honestly, none of this is surprising. My brother has always and continues to think I’m weird. I’ve been independent since a young age and like what I like regardless of what others think.

Now that we have Charlee, I think about what she will be, how to nurture her without spoiling her natural style/ talents, how to teach  her life is hard but beautiful, etc. All the stuff most parents think about. I hope she is full of life, independent, kind, compassionate, and confident enough to follow her heart.

As I write this she is in the other room climbing where she shouldn’t be climbing so I think she has the independent / confidence thing down.

My friend Connie told me that a little girl gets her self-esteem from her relationship with her Dad. I have the best Dad in the world and love our relationship. He was the first man to teach me how to persevere and the importance of practicing / hard work. We spent hours playing catch in the yard, shooting hoops, listening to music. He was extremely patient when he taught me how to ride a bike and to drive stick. We still laugh about bouncing around in the school parking lot during those driving lessons. Granted learning to drive stick in a VW bus isn’t easy, he went above and beyond particularly since I thought it was funny to bounce around. We’ve spent hours upon hours talking about everything and anything. He would probably say that some of those conversations were conversations he would’ve preferred not to have but he did it anyway.

He demonstrated kindness and generosity versus preaching it. We didn’t grow up with a lot of money but we didn’t want for anything either. I remember leaving Gemco and a man asked my dad for money to help him put gas in his car. At first, my dad told him we didn’t have any to spare and kept walking. We got in the car and were well on our way home.  My dad kept talking about the man and how hard it is to tell if somebody really needs help or if they’re working a scam. You could tell the situation was pulling at his heart strings. We finally turned around, found the family, and my dad helped them. That is just one of many examples he showed me when I was growing up. We took in more of my friends than I can count when they needed a place to stay. No questions asked. No consequences. Just a warm bed and loving home.

He taught me never to quit and to follow my dreams. He taught me about the importance of goals and putting the effort towards reaching those goals. But more importantly, he loved me just as I was regardless of what others said. When I was hurting, he was always there. I can go on and on but you get the point. My dad is awesome and full of smart, simple one-liners that have shaped me throughout the years.

I’m grateful Charlee has him in her life. Grandpa does fun things with her like beating drums, spending time outside taking adventures and loving her.

Mike has been home taking care of Charlee during the winter months. What an amazing time. They have developed this really cool relationship. It’s full of love, laughter and ribbing. She has his number and works him over.

If it’s true that a girl gets her self esteem from the relationship that she has with her father, Charlee will be just fine.